Happiness Is

The "fight or flight" syndrome is real. When we face an "upset" in our world, we can either fight it and become stronger people for it, or we can crawl into the fetal position and wallow in self-pity. I have no use for the latter. My family and I have been through SO much adversity over the past two-years I won't even bother to go into it, as I would indeed sound life a self-pity filled person.

What I'd rather do is tell you that old cliche', "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." There is a reason for cliches, most of them are true. We have all lost jobs, left a job because we simply cannot endure the bureaucracy anymore, or physically/mentally/emotionally cannot take it.
This has happened to me and I always suck it up and move forward. This is when we find what we are made of and if we are cut out to continue on in life.

I know it's harder for some than others to endure change, but it's something that is part of life. I have become more and more cynical of our political process, but I do believe we still live in the best country on earth. So, I can either bitch and moan and endure it, or fight for change. I fight the good fight daily. Maybe I will help propagate change, or at least I'll be able to face myself in the mirror knowing I have done my very best to help change the world for the better. The choice is ours. No one ever said life would be easy.

This blog reminds me of the song "Changes" by David Bowie. Maybe there's a more appropriate song, but nonetheless...

Peace, Blessings and Happy Thanksgiving to all,
Greg

Posted by G's Joint on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 7:54 AM

Applause, I like very much how you conveyed your feelings concerning this blog. I am still working on my answer, in fact, am just now reading this one.
I especially like, " I fight the good fight daily." Life can be a daily fight and we have to do our best each day. You have a positive attitude and I like that very much.
Ever,
Deborah

Posted by Deborah Seeks Peace Through Love on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 4:01 PM

Sincere thanks to you Deborah. I have a sister named Deborah. :-) I wish to trade the two of you! HEHEHE Just kidding! (kind of)

I read The Power of Positive Thinking at a very young age, and although, as with any book, I don't agree with everything in it, I do believe Dr. Peele was right that if we dwell on negativity we will find ourselves in negative consequences. None of us are immune to it. Even Dr. Peele said that he wasn't immune from negativity. But realizing it and correcting your thoughts helps. I certainly would not want to be a hypocrite, because for the past 7 1/2 years I've been pretty darn negative at times...

All my best to you and all the "Happiness Is"... bloggers and Happy Thanksgiving.
Greg

Posted by G's Joint on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 5:56 PM

Negativity affects us all at some point, we all experience it whether we want to or not. No matter how hard we wish to be positive, how hard we focus on the good, negativity creeps in. We have to chase it back out and those determined to do so...will. That's what's important, to rid ourselves of it once it does manage to seep through the cracks. I've found that I can do that more easily when I have supportive family and friends. I love to smile and laugh, play, cut up and see the good, with that in mind, I try to chose those things over the alternatives. Staying positive is something we have to continue to work on, life is an ongoing effort and it keeps us busy.
Sincere wishes for a wonderful remainder of the week to you and to all,
Deborah

Posted by Deborah Seeks Peace Through Love on Friday, November 23, 2007 at 10:30 AM

Just for good measure:

Changes
David Bowie

I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't tell t hem to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Where's your shame
You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can't trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock 'n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time

Posted by G's Joint on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 7:57 AM

"Time may change me, but I can't trace time"...Funny as soon as I started reading this I thought of that song. Nice to know you are not all alone in thought. Anyway, change can be hard to deal with but it can be exciting and that is when I am at my best. Changes at work, I don't handle well at first, mostly because it is some software update that makes my life sheer hell til the kinks are worked out. Changes in life are par for the course for me, I don't think stability is for me, I like to try new things and step up to new challenges, and for the most part I don't stay in one place too long.

It is important to always remind ourselves that life is a challenge that is forever revolving like the earth we live on.

Posted by PairADiceArt on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 10:01 AM

I get into a rut (like I am in now, see my blog HAHA)
and I crave change...I need a change of job, change of something...
I am trying to keep positive about change, but the fear that is attached with change, scares the S*&t out of me....
the fear of failure...the fear of going at something all alone...
I am usually the one helping people with their problems, giving them the best advice I can think of, but at this point...no one is there for me to coach me through the changes in my life, and it sucks frankly...
how weird this is the topic today...
All anyone has to say, is see how it goes...and wishes me the best of luck...talk is cheap...
I look to the sky for answers, but usually I just go with my gut feelings about something and then truck along...hoping for the best....
worried about the worst...
and just keep on living as if it was the last day for me on this earth...

Posted by also known as on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 8:00 AM

OMG you couldnt have said that better...I as well seem to be the coach the up-lifter the shoulder to cry on but I as well have no coach and yes change and the fear of failure scares the --it out of me as well....The wierd thing is I dont often fail when I set my mind to it??? Maybe Iam just in a RUT!!!!! ABIG RUT!!!! AHUGE RUT!!!!!!.....lol..lol..lol.. but Iam one positive girl with lots of faith..... So my friend Iam sure we will both make grt changes for ourselves..... Stephanie

how to navigate change? it is always all around us...

i usually write about, especially songs. the catalog is growing (meaning there's been lots of change!)

i come to realize that i been navigating change through songwriting for almost 30 years (but with obvious periods of dry spells during which there might have been little change or great continuity).

handling discontinuity? perhaps by knowing that continuity and discontinuity are all around us, right in front of us, omnipresent. thank goodness for that!!!

when all else fails, i remember that i'm energy wrapped in a finite set of molecules traveling through space and time...

aren't we all in this together?

paces, paz!

Posted by jim on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 8:04 AM

Great blog post, my friend! I have found that the best way to navigate change, is to embrace it and not be afraid of it! Not that you deny your feelings of fear, etc., but you see them and embrace them, just like you would a friend or loved one! You tell yourself, ok... yes, this might suck at the moment, and doesn't look or feel pretty, but... I CAN DO THIS, and it's going to be alright! Something good will come out of this, if I so choose!

As far as giving advice and forgetting to take it in for yourself... oh, yes... I've had to embrace that side of me, as well, hehe! It's all too easy to care enough about others to give them advice, and then not care enough about yourself to heed to it as well!

take care!

Posted by 10neWon1 on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 8:36 AM

Exactly! When I was a little boy, about my son's age (seven), my grandfather (maternal), who was my greatest role model and idol in my life told me about fear, "if you face your fear, it will disappear." It seems simple enough but it's not. It takes more courage to face a fear and conquer it than most anything we do in life. But one thing I've found, he was right. Absolutely.
When I was young and played sports, I had some success in it and was asked to speak in front of people and I was scared s***less to do it. I closed my eyes and did my best.

When I went to college I majored in Business and Journalism but I minored in Speech and Communications just so I could definitively kick that fear's ass. Anyone who knows me would attest. I love to talk to people. Anyone. Anyone who is interested in sharing ideas. So not only did I conquer a fear, I turned a big part of it into my career.

Lesson learned, listen to our elders.

Posted by G's Joint on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 6:01 PM

I have faces a lot of "unexpected change" in the last two years. (As I allowed to pour out on a different blog comment) In all of life's turmoil I hold on to what my Mom said to me when I called her to tell her I lost my job,health insurance, life insurance, company matched 401k, while my husband was lying in a hospital bed his future uncertain..

"Sometimes you are shown the backside of life's needlepoint. It looks ugly, distorted, and like it the project is hopeless. But if you take a moment to turn it ove, look at it from a different direction.. it could be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.. "

Gotta love my Mom...

Posted by say_tay on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 8:43 AM

Thanks for sharing.

<hr><a href="http://www.nationalparklover.com">www.nationalparklover.com</a>

Posted by National Park Lover on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 10:31 AM

Ch- ch- ch- ch- ch- changes...

Greg, ain't that the truth. Great tune and so apropos.

I have, unfortunately, had the chance to sit on both sides of that table. And it is a hard thing to do in both cases. Usually, unless you are in a very small company, the person who is delivering the news is not the one making the decision. And, as you state, those left behind end up on a hard path as well. The same or more work with less resources. So much fun!

Change is a scary thing. It is fear of the unknown... fear of our own shortcomings (can I face this new challenge? can I live up to the expectations/responsibilities? etc.)... But change can and usually is a good thing. I often wonder if I get laid off from my day gig, will that be the required impetus to finally make a full time go of the job I do on the side which is where my passion lies. It can be that necessary kick in the butt.

The way I navigate change is to take immediate stock of what has not changed and then attempt to make a rational assessment of what I need to do and the priority of each of those best next steps. If it is employment, it is find a new way to keep money coming in to feed, clothe and house my family. If it is a perspective change, I try to determine how that new perspective will impact those around me and the relationships I have with them.

I likewise am often the 'go to person' for my friends and family re: how to cope with 'X'. And I have to say, that since I enjoy 'troubleshooting' I like to help out as often as I can. In my own life, as long as I don't let my immediate emotions get in the way of that algebraic process of figuring out what I should be doing now, I follow my own advice in most scenarios as well. When I am 'blinded by the light' of emotion, then everything can go out the window fast. And sometimes (like the death of my grandmother) it takes a long time for me to see the rest of life in a balanced enough perspective to make sense of anything at all.

I guess one of my clichés I live with is "the more things change, the more they stay the same". That is because, usually, we are the only constant in our experience. And that is usually what is really in need of a change. Not a loss of self, but a modification of view. I know I feel that I am often in my own rut, one worn down by walking the same path over and over again. It is when I become aware of that that my necessary change occurs. It is the comfort of 'the sameness' that keeps me walking the same path over and over again.

For song choice, I'll go with Dylan. "...the answer my friend is blowing in the wind...", and Sam Cooke, in honor of the '08 elections:

"I was born by the river in a little tent
And just like the river, I've been running ever since
It's been a long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come

It's been too hard living, but I'm afraid to die
I don't know what's up there beyond the sky
It's been a long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come

I go to the movie, and I go downtown
Somebody keep telling me "Don't hang around"
It's been a long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come

Then I go to my brother and I say, "Brother, help me please"
But he winds up knocking me back down on my knees

There've been times that I've thought I couldn't last for long
But now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come"

Much love, happiness and peace. May the only ruts be furrows in your fields of dreams.

peace.

Posted by Lowell Rice on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 12:55 PM

Lowell, you're my BOY! Well put. GREAT tune.

Posted by G's Joint on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 6:03 PM

They say the only constant is change...
embracing life with all its challenges keeps me alive and vibrant.. I love to see things new even If I have seen it before..when an obstacle faces me I am often intrigued and then elated when I find my way around/over/under/through... it is when my true creative mind is sparked to life.

I have told my daughters that every problem has a solution... it may not be the solution you want or expect but it can take your life in a direction you never thought possible.. I have found my strength in the navigation of lifes challenges.. and in that who I am so Bring it on!!! I am not ready to lay down the gauntlet I have many more mountains to climb and the view always Rocks!!!!! :)

Posted by Caroline on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 2:56 PM

when i feel a change come or they put it upon me...first i feel blind helpless, but as you said in your blog, one door closes another one opens... i learned, to be a bit patient, and then mostly another maybe even cooler opportunity will arise. it happened many times before and i am sure, many times after will follow.

thanks for the blog, it came just at the right time and opened my eyes again to always think positiv, cause the change will bring good.

big hugs.
xxx

Posted by der Bi(e)ber on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 3:33 PM

A door has to close for another one to open. I have gone through many changes most unexpected and some planned. Learning to 'roll with the punches' as they say and walking through any fear is how I cope with both. I wrote a poem describing my feelings.

Fear of Feasibility


Temporary paralysis
Scared of failure
Incompetence

Stepping into new
Unfamiliar
Unknown arena

Forcing one small step
After another
Gaining momentum

As apprehensive
Queasy feelings
When imagining

Success - flutter
Like butterflies
Throughout my soul


© Alice Vedral Rivera - 2007

Posted by AVR on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 6:26 PM

When significant change slaps me in the face I get anxious and question my abilities. Sometimes I get angry. Sometimes I cry. Somewhere in between I pray and get on myspace, unless the change includes no internet. Most of the time I feel emotions that I've been able to ignore for the most part. But when my heart slows down and my need to run subsides I realize that change is nothing new. I remind myself that I'm not the only person experiencing changes in my life and if I want to make it out alive then I had better ask myself. What would Judge Judy do? Change is best handled with intellect, not emotion. I try my hardest to ignore all emotion and focus on sensibility and reality; what's real and what really isn't. I find that if I put my feelings last during a life changing event and focus all of my attention on my family then there's nothing I can't do. When I feel secure following a change I take time out for myself. I smoke a joint, have a glass of wine and watch a favorite horror movie. Then it's on to the next change. Leslie

Posted by exceptionallycrazzy on Monday, November 19, 2007 at 6:50 PM

Seasons change, the weather changes, we change our minds....

Life is about change. It is how we manage it that makes us unique. It seems to me that we only have two choices when confronted with change...either hold on to what we are comfortable with, despite the cost or hardships that it involves...or we move forward.

Staying in a comfort zone is not always a bad thing, but when forced to move forward we should approach it with the attitude that something "new" can't always be compared to the "way it used to be". Can we compare a brilliant sunrise with yesterday's sunset? Can we even compare today's sunrise with yesterday's sunrise? No, I think not. I think change involves a new horizon, a new experience, a new opportunity to succeed.

It is human to resist change. However, sometimes embracing change builds character.

Posted by Chili on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 at 9:15 AM

Things changes and my reaction is usually total panic. In those times I need to think for a while, and even if the change is a fact and still there I find my door in my mind, my thinking and in my way of look at things, life and my self.

Posted by Jenny on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 at 3:30 PM

Very interesting.
The struggle faced by the people who cut the funding on my job - to keep getting funding for their own jobs - I don't miss.
I am obviously sad that things didn't work out and feel scape goated coz I gave them their direction in the first place (from the bottom).
With change I go 'Standstill' - let everything fall into place and then move on.
I want to be able to live to work, not work to live and do not want to conform to a work ethic which keeps us all braying for more and depressed.
- Cosmic Love -

Posted by Cosmic on Friday, November 23, 2007 at 10:02 AM

Yes, "When one door closes, another one opens"...but you forgot the second part: "Damn, these hallways are dark..." ;) We also forget to look for windows...sometimes we're so busy searching out the obvious that we forget to look for other forks in the path. I believe in timing...in there being a right time for things. Change to me is indicative that whatever that experience was for my particular journey, it's served its purpose and it's time to move on. But I don't view a life's journey as one long, linear path...I think of it more like a huge sweeping arc. And sometimes it's good to revisit places/endeavors from our past. Maybe we weren't ready for them the first time around...but the updated, revised (later release) version of ourselves might be. Sometimes it can be helpful to loop back around and pick up a few of those abandoned parts of our selves...sometimes they're exactly the missing pieces we've been searching for to put in our puzzle.

Posted by Marilyn on Friday, November 23, 2007 at 10:36 AM

Work towards accessing your 7th chakra...the crown chakra. I am still trying to climb the ladder to the 6th chakra. When the mind is set free we realize that all the emotional and physical trauma is manufactured for us to ingest. The 7th chakra will reunite the computer in the vehicle to the universal power source. The burdens and struggles fall away when we realize we are infinite energy. No external force can rob that from the soul. We have been fed a reality which is not the whole picture. Negative elements in our "reality" bind us daily to this finite concept. It is the fear and aggression that stokes the flames of our suffering. When we become aware of this deception we cut the puppet strings.

this forum is crucial to the elevation of our true nature. The decievers are reeling because it is this unharnessed information exchange which blows the lid off of our ignorance. I like the concept of the manager being heartbroken just as much as the employee being fired. We cannot direct all of our anger and disdain towards our oppressors. We have willingly given the power to them. Our freedom is there for the taking whenever we decide it is time to claim it.

Keep this wonderful dialogue going...it is creating powerful change
I love you guys,
-aaron

Posted by Aaron on Friday, November 23, 2007 at 1:12 PM

After experiencing some dramatic changes in my own life, I have come to realize that fighting change is not possible, in fact to fight change only exaggerates the frustration, sadness or anger that everyone feels when changes happen that were not forseen or anticipated. The serenity prayer is a beautiful verse that I have looked to in times when I am facing change. I think you should give yourself some time to feel the pain of change, and then step back and take another look at the situation objectively and see where you might be able to take another path as a result of that change. Then, choose your path and keep moving forward, leaving the past behind. Change is the only constant, and if you can teach yourself to accept change and continue moving forward in life to new experiences and new possibilities, you will feel more peaceful and accepting that everything in the universe is unfolding exactly the way it should. Trust in God to show you how to find the alternate route and have faith in yourself to make the choices that will help you to solve problems, enjoy life and find happiness. Picture yourself as a wave rider joyfully going with the flow, rather than a prize fighter going toe to toe and getting beat up and worn out by change.

Posted by Kelly on Friday, November 23, 2007 at 1:03 PM

For me the doors in my life show me what I am really made of. I approach the door (change) cautiously but I know if I fail to turn the knob and walk through I have failed. Change is eventually coming to everyone’s door in one form or another. Is it scary? Hell YES! Sometimes, I am like please excuse me but, I think you have the wrong person. I am not equipped. This really isn’t a good time.

Then I succumb to the choice that I may not be fully in control. So I stop. I take a pause to remember exactly who I am and where I have been. Then I look deeply to see what I have to learn from this. That answer is oftentimes hard to see at first and does not materialize until the end of the mission.

I used to really look at change as a bad thing. This was before I realized that sometimes life throws a change your way that is necessary. Sometimes the change is something you never knew that you always wanted. Does that make sense? To me it does.

Changes come along sometimes without warning and make you wonder if you have the moxie to pull through. If you think you do, you do. If you think you don’t , you probably don’t. It is up to you. Now I am not saying that I jump in with both feet off the high dive. Sometimes I dip in a toe, check it out , feel it out a little. However, I know if I do not eventually dive in I will spend my entire life wondering if that was the best pool I could have possibly ever swam in.

As far as tools the biggest one I have acquired is to just stop and assess. That sounds simple but it is so essential. First, just stop, collect yourself and then proceed. The second is do your best to just stay positive. It is all about attitude. Think that you will succeed, desire it, do the work to make it happen and it will.

So with all of my heart I know that the doors in life are good and very essential to this life. They are necessary to bring us each that one step further on this journey.

I am listening to Life is Beautiful by SIXX AM, a song all about Doors and possibilities all very fitting to the topic of the moment. Why am I listening to Life is Beautiful? Because as I look around I notice more and more that it really is and I really do not want to forget it again, EVER.

SLL~Jennifer

Posted by Jennifer on Friday, November 23, 2007 at 7:22 PM

Good post. I'll let you know my thoughts on handling changes when I finish handling my current ones! ;-)

Anton

Posted by Anton on Friday, November 23, 2007 at 7:51 PM

BTW I'm with Anton on this....
Holding my thoughts till I make it through this one!!

Posted by Trish on Wednesday, December 05, 2007 at 1:14 PM

I’m a bit on the tail end of this blof, hectic time of year at our home. Also, I’m just not sure how to answer this one, change is not something I find enjoyable, it’s hard for me.
I’ve found my need for stability, security and consistency make me reluctant to embark on change with any gusto. What is odd though is the times I have just jumped in and gone for it, job change, life<myspace>style</myspace> change, educational change, it’s been successful and gratifying yet the fear of the process continues to cause me concern. I become unbelievably nervous and anxious. I’ve found that I deal with change best if I just jump in and go for it. Over analyzing or thinking about the possible outcomes causes me to drag my feet or simply not begin the process that would allow change to occur. There are of course, changes that we have no control over. Those changes we have to accept and move forward with them regardless how they make us feel. The older I’ve gotten, the easier accepting change has become. I’ve realized that if I fail, what have I lost? Nothing, I’ve gained an experience and something positive no matter if I was successful or not or whether the outcome was the desired one…but I still have to push myself. Change for me is like looking over the edge of a cliff, the view is exhilarating but daunting.

Posted by Deborah Seeks Peace Through Love on Saturday, November 24, 2007 at 8:25 AM

When I get Shit--I look at it as fertilizer....
after the stink is gone you can get a pretty flower.. if that is what you want.

Posted by cari on Saturday, November 24, 2007 at 1:29 PM

Have you heard the one by Helen Keller? It goes something like this: Sometimes we spend so much time looking at the closed door that we miss the window that's been opened.

Posted by Trish on Friday, November 30, 2007 at 3:40 PM